It was my third day in office in Chicago. The first two days were spent trying to locate my desk in a campus that is as big as Bangalore. I hadn't had food in the foodcourt till then and decided to hit the foodcourt right away .Here i was in the food court, reasonably comfortable with the accent and the people around i thought, trying to act like i knew it all. I decided to have a chicken burger and here's what happened :
"Hello sir, may i help you?"
(Wow! did he call me sir? anyways)" Hi, i would like one spicy chicken burger." I said that with such confidence and panache, onlt the CEO of the firm could manage
"Yeah" i said casually, though i didn't quiet understand what he meant. I had to sound like a seasoned campaigner. No?
"For here or to go?" he asked with his heavy accent
"Yeah, Varrier" i said
"Yeah, varrier" i replied back, as if i had "varrier" with sambahr rice everyday back home in India.
The thing was i had mistaken "for here" as "varrier" because of all that i've heard about the cosmopolitan nature of chicago and its cuisines and i assumed "varrier" was some kind of sauce and was nonchalantly saying "Yeah, varrier" each time.
"Good to go sir" he said with a condescending smile, having packed the food in a box !
The champ i was, i happily returned back without even realising what happened, hoping to have spicy chicken with some nice "varrier" sauce !
One day i was on a call with a client, for anonymity let's call her Nancy.
"Hey Chey..wait let me get this right..chey..than.yaa?"
"Hey Nancy, this is Chaitanya here. And you got that right! Well, almost"
"Am very very particular about names you see. I make sure i get the names absolutely spot-on"
"Yeah, nice to know someone's actually trying. Hehe"
"Okay i need this product's report by today evening"
"Oh! but thats generated offshore. So you could actually shoot a mail to Ramaiah in Bangalore who's working on it"
"Okay i'll do that"
"Copy it to me as well and let me see if i could be of any help"
"Oh sure, Thanks a lot"
Within the next five minutes i recieve a mail from Nancy addressed to Ramaiah!
This is Nancy here. COuld you give me a status update from a physician stand-point so that i can touch-base with the stand-in manager and please update me hands-on on the self-starter-package and the productivity-function. Should you need any help call the help-desk at 847-848-7936 without those hyphens in between.
Okay Okay ! i made that mail-matter up but the point is Ramya got lost in all those hyphenated buzzwords these guys use and he had to sit all night to generate the report.
But one thing hasn't changed even after coming here. I still recieve very noble sounding mails staing that, in a nutshell, they can help my penis-enlargement ! I didn't totally understand the intricacies of the mail but to cut the story short, there are these bunch of hardcore researchers working in the area of you-know-what and have come up with this medicene that can actually enlarge the middle. For marketing reasons they decided to send free samples to a select few around the globe and somehow i believe, my name came up . That's too hard to believe but i seriously want to suggest a few names and mail Ids to these people. Mr.Nancy, Ramya and Sridhar to start with ! You can see Ramya and Sridhar below !
All said i am not really happy here because i cannot afford my food three times a day as the company pays me peanuts for working twelve hours a day ! Do you think am exagerrating? Of course i am. I get paid only half a peanut !On that note i need to go buy myself a spicy Chicken. "For here" !