Friday, March 24, 2006
It was time to spend some time with the text books, i thought and i left to the library only to end up reading Business world.
I was browsing through the pages and i realised that condom manufacturers were sponsoring articles on Emran hashmi.
Nice business model you see .The manufacturers are happy because they feel Emran Hashmi is the perfect ambassador keeping in mind the fact that it will me Hasmi's 1254th kiss in his forthcoming film .This includes 234 girls in his school days and a coupla male directors in bollywood.
Emran Hashmi reminds me of an another extremely talented guy named Himesh Reshamiyya . A research revealed that Jeepdrivers in Gujarat do not have passengers these days because of his latest song "Auwww jawww Auwww jawww" (with a nasal twang) which they play very often.
The tamil Nadu police have now confirmed , they are going to use the remix of "Auwww Jaww" by the southern music director Vidyasagar as ,what they call seventh degree torture for all those people campaigning against Miss. Jayalalitha who is busy laying marble floors for temples these days.
Frankly speaking, i heard "Auwww Jaww" for the first time when my roomie played it and i thought he was watching that bilingual telugu-mallu porn movie my friend gave me the other day.It was titled "Valliemmavan kandukondein entra?".
The news is that,India too will have its own National spelling-bee championship to be hosted by the renowned Giri subramaniam also known as pickbrain .The eligibilty supposedly is ,first you should be able to spell the host's name and then the mallu-telugu porn mentioned above.
Movies to books-Mr.Natwar singh supposedly experimented with his new book "Experiments with truth".Yes, "experiments with truth" ,after he was sacked as a minister.The experiment was such a success that the publishers celebrated its silver jubillee recently ,in the sense that the book sold 25 copies world wide , 24 in India including all his relatives' and one in Iraq. Must be his nephew.
Congrats Sir, on your great success.
In another experiment, India won the TT gold in the commonwealth games beating Singapore 3-2 in the finals . All Singapore players experimented playing with their opposite hand but the Indian contingent emerged victorious.
In yet another experiment Rahul Dravid chose to field on a flat wicket in the final test against England which the visitors eventually won . The experiment proved "Every dog will have its day if Rahul Dravid takes the wrong decision" :P
Those were the updates for this time. Catchya later. ;)
P.S: All my northie batchmates, ya all four of them were unhappy with my last post. Sorry people. So, MASSES is now open to all.
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
two years and it is now i have realised it is the right time to make it official.
MASSES for Male, Available, Single, South-indian, EngineerS . We people at MASSES are the most selfless people on the face of the earth who have no girlfriends, do not know how it feels to date a girl, are unhopeful and have resigned .
MASSES will be an autonomous body of men working for the welfare of a deprived species called single-men. MASSES promises best placements to its members as all the employers believe Single-men work best as they do not have any life of their own and hence the employers are ready to pay rupees 25 per annum as bonus.(We are in the process of bargaining to make it 27)
Not every tom,dick and harry are eligible to join this great institution. You must be born with it. What is "it" still remains to be a question which we will address in our official meeting after u get admitted .
Firstly, you need to undergo this test in order to gain eligibilty for admission .
Follow the instructions strictly before attempting. Remember your future is at stake.
1)Take printout of this paper. if u cannot afford it i'm sure there are many single guys around who have already got it printed. So photocopy it.
2)Do not draw arbit shapes or show your frustation on this poor sheet of paper.
3) The star question is an elimination question. If you do not answer and undersign it you will be straight away rejected.
4)Only one option is correct
Q1) Fill in the missing letters- Pu_ _y , A_ _ hole.
a) ss, ss b) nt, nt
c) nn, nn d) ff, ff
Q2) What comes to your mind when someone says "36-26-36"
a) Length, breadth, b)36-26-36=-26.
height of cuboid.
c) Pamela Anderson d)Fermats last theorem.
or some supermodel .
Q3) Most romantic movie you have seen?
c)Cannibal d)My parents wont allow me to see them.
Q4)* If I=9, a=1 , m=13, n=14, o =15, t=20 , g =7, a =1, y=25.
Rewrite the sentence below decoding the numbers and sign below .
I hereby declare that - (9) (1)(13) (14)(15)(20) (7)(1)(25).
You would be selected only if u get all correct and if u think you got all right it's the time to celebrate. All ppl in college campuses, go do a celebration run screaming around your college ground and rest of them run around the nearest char-rasta. It will be both celebration and publicity..
This is just a notice . So no details .For further details contact:
PSR Chaitanya (16 years experience, being single)
P.S: Do not give blank calls to our office ,because we got sick trying them all our lives and somehow believe that they do not work. ever.
Thursday, March 16, 2006
Ah quizzing !. I have been doing a lot of quizzing in the recent past and especially this semester, which includes standing second in IMS quotient , seventh in TATA crucible apart from co-ordinating a couple of quizzes this Synapse.
I attended this quiz yesterday called the Brand equity corporate quiz which was supposed to be hosted by the very famous Derek o brein himself. We went to the open air venue , when the prelims had already started and to our surprise we found a lady hosting the prelims. It was a very drab prelims except for that one statement she made- "Hey audience! It is getting dark and the weather is beautiful .So we will have fun".People don't get excited. She only meant ,they could use the projector when it gets dark and so the finals could start with Derek o brein on stage.
On stage it looked more like a standup comedy show by Derek than a quiz. Derek could have easily given Sunil Pal a run for his money (with due respect to Derek). After a lot of ridiculous comedy , it was Torrent who pulled it off in the end.
Quizzing takes me back to 1994 when i as a school student started attending quizzes. Once we had this quiz by "Uncle pai" of Amar chitra katha fame, where all the participants had to forma queue and uncle pai asked them questions when they reached the stage . If u answer the question u join the queue again or else ur out. The final person standind wouls win the quiz.The queue used to be so very long that while one end was on stage in public gardens, Nampally , the tail was at Lakdi- ka- pool half a mile away.
Such used to be the interest in quizzing among us and especially me and Mallanna , my neighbour in our apartment, we were uncrowned galli quizzing champions.We used to have quizzes in our apartment with partipants from class1 to class 4 . We had mind boggling questions like : "How many floors does the adjacent apartment Jalladi Towers have? " . Then after a lot of thinking and passing we would come down to the right answer 5. The quiz master was generally some granny in the apartment and used to ask questions like "Why do you shout "kaaaaaaaate" when u cut a kite during pongal? " . "What is atthambaji and manja?" and what we meant when we called each other " jaaako" . Those questions were quite easy until one day he asked us ,the galli champions this question - "Which street do we live in? ". After lot of discussion we understood the question was about which galli we lived in .Galli champions actually did't know their own galli. What an embarrasment!! We answered "ramu uncle bakery galli" . No one could answer the question that day and finally the quiz master gave out the answer.Then i knew we lived at Mehta Towers,Ashok Nagar, Street No 9 , Hyderabad-500020.
This reminds me of one more question asked recently in one of the quizzes and the guy who answered gave a funky answer.
What's common to Alicia Silverstone and Silverstone F1 track in GB?
Answer came : Both have great curves.:).
Actually it had to do something with the silverstone family owning share in the circuit.
Quizzing is fun but here atleast in DAIICT people show no or rather very less interest in quizzing.Looks like we need another "Uncle Pai" or "Galli Granny " quiz here, to boost the partipation in the quizzes we conduct.
Sunday, March 12, 2006
Donno what it was all about but finally the class got over at 8 PM. Felt very exhausted and so walked down to have my favourite panipuri at a nearby stall. Actually ,here u get panipuri in six different flavours and this guy who serves them yells their names before serving them. I have tried many times to figure out what he shouts but i only manage to fail each time.This time around i could manage to get three words : 1.Adrak 2.Pani 3.Poodi. English grammar was lot easier i thought. If i was a grammarian ,i would definetely have a tense named fuked up future.When u have simple and perfect you need to have this too for people like me.
Got back to college in an auto rickshaw which travelled at the speed of, i suppose a shade more than the inverse of the velocity of light. It was 9.30 when i reached my room, the best place on earth :). My computer was there , waiting for me. I logged on to the net and started chatting with my roommate who was sitting just opposite my chair. When you have no one to chat, atleast do this. Then this girl , a very very old friend of mine added me on the messenger. Ahh! she used to be a beauty, the most sought after gal in the school. First thing that came to my mind, why did she add me?? . Then i thought i should stop thinking and start talking. I did, and in jus 6 min and 24 sec i got bored. She was really boring. I spoke all crap and she responded with more crap and suddenly i receive this message - "I Love you". I was spell bound, i was beginning to get cold feet not knowing how to react..Omg first time in my life a gal had an opinion about me. Now what????
Then this message appears on my chat window - "Sorry, was not for you.Was for my boy friend". Bullshit..why does this always happen to me. I thought of killing myself watching that 3rd grade telugu movie named "SMS".I knew one would die if he watches that movie.. Then i get another message- "wrong BOX". "BOX" i wondered. What was that supposed to mean. Then after a lot of thinking i realised she meant "wrong window"..Aaha what a brainy girl. Box for window.. Now i thought Bill gates should kill himself after this. wrong BOX....Then you would have Boxes 98, Boxes 2003 and Boxes XP. An update would read " A new patch for your boxes" and an introductory offer like -"Boxes 2008 in a new colourful box with no holes". Intel would advertise "Intel inside for your box". News like "Gates declares: "i can't tell you whats in the new BOX" " .You would have someone asking "How is your Box??". yuk..In the first place i think windows is an egregious name for an operating system and now i think "Boxes" is the worst it can get...
Ohh! my friend says Australia scored 400 runs in 47 overs. Three overs to go. i have to rush to the TV room...Bye.
BTW forgot to tell you, i am happy it was in the wrong BOX.
Saturday, March 11, 2006
My friend iqbal dates twice a day. He calls it fast dating...
Another friend named saladi dates every possible gal on the planet,but his dreams are as far as he can get.
HE calls it Dream dating....
Another friend pallula rahuli flirts with every gal on the net.
He calls it Online dating...
And i,,,,have dated only once ,when i was ,lemme see, ya ..when i was in the first standard , a gal named ponagotivari venkata lakshmi. I still remember we both went after school to an icecream bandi (as we used to call it)in street no 12,our school was in street no 9. Quite a long walk u see by primary school standards ;and had a 50 paise pepsi(not the cola drink pepsi but it used to be a , i must say coloured ice wrapped in a plastic cover)and to add to that,we managed to get 2 pepsis free when we tried our luck on the lottery wheel the bandis usually had. So could manage to return only after an hour , to see our parents waiting for us at the school gate and to get screwed later.....
That is as far as i can remember of my last date..its been 15 years and some months .This is what i call Carbon dating .[:(]