Bullshit!Thud!!PhatakKK!!! Wait a moment.. let me throw these glass pieces out. The second one i broke in the last half an hour......All these days like a total idiot I assumed
gals fall for affable, suave, moderate guys and what happened today: I have come to know that one more gal in my best gals list is now committed to that guy in my biggest jerk list. Ya, the same guy we used to call "Mysore Banda " in school. I don't have a problem with his excessive flab or his ugly crocadile hair cut. I hate him for what he is : a jerk in every sense of the word. One more reason to hate him. I lose my 100 bucks.Oh yes!! i did bet on his getting kicked.Royally!. Afterall i thought the gal was one of the brainiest i met .Now i have my doubts. Did any research in recent times conclude -" As good looking , apparently-wise gals grow older, their brains shrink." If there is one like that, it must be right.
Back to this guy.Lets call him "Banda" hereafter. It is because of these guys like Banda that guys like me : single, sincere and desperate don't stand a chance.We can't fake that "hey baby" accent.We can't send ugly SMS's like "This sms can only be read by someone SEXY" followed by this one "he he..nice one no??" and then the gal replies "Ya wonderful!! Brilliant . How Creative . I loved it". Aaha..
I see so many such guys around . In the cinema halls, parties and in the malls. I keep an eye on them from a distance and i just keep hoping this happens --
VVRZOOOM BANGGGG...a fighter plane comes crashing down on him before he introduces himself to the gal. Then i go running , jump into the flames and i finally save the gal. The gal is in my arms ..I look at her , she looks at me. The fire fighters are spraying water over us. Both of us are all drenched up and it's time for that rain song- "patti rap".
Err ..was patti rap a rain song?? Who cares. Can i make it anymore obvious. You know both of us would live happily ever after . 'Everafter' can mean 5 minutes right??
I open my eyes only to realise ;the gal and that jerk are on their first date already.Ohh... not again. It felt as if the plane had deviated its path and shot into my butt. ouch!!
I honestly feel guys like these must be sold off to countries like Iran. Afterall the oil prices are on a rise and we need to do something about it. Come on Mr. Minister !! sell them off . "Jerks for Oil" it must read. Hey Gals; you need guys like us, who won't see another gal while on a date with you unless; the other gal is very fair, wearing a very short dress and has a beautiful smile. In short we wont look at another gal unless she looks better or unless we feel we have been with you for as long as two semesters. We promise we will be your friend, guide ,mentor,computer and hunter. Hey! how bout this line. " Madam. i wanna be your Bryan Adam." Nice one na??. I can hear someone saying this one was worse than the SMS. No!! It was not . It was so original and spontaneous. Some guys here have it in them. Lines come naturally to them.:P
Okk!! let me cut this off here. Wouldn't it be nice if we had more spirit here. I am sorry if i offended anyone. Especially those jerks. I was really disturbed today and i even had to break my resolution not to write a blog for the next few weeks, to vent my frustation. And all you Bandas, i am even more sorry for having thought of hurting you. I felt like blasting your head off with my cricket bat. It should have been a hammer and i should have done it.Someone!! Please kill them with kindness. :P.
Update: Had to change the post's title because our college's super-blocker-firewall was denying access to the word "Jerks". I suggest we take inspiration from these firewalls. :P