A Captain's Account

Disclamer: A cross post from Entelechy. Long post. Continue reading at your own risk and only if you are interested in finelegs and extra covers.The veracity of the article is questionable except for the scores and results.

I was asked to write our experience in the just concluded 'Chimanbhai patel Cricket Tournament". It was the first time DA-IICT was 'officially' participating in a tournament at the university level.We had a very strong 16 member squad with a strategically chosen 12th man, Laveen. One of those players you chose so that you have fun while he craked his trademark jokes on our way back to the college. He asked questions like " fineleg ko fineleg kyun bula the hain??" , could throw trivia bits like this one: " Vo kaun tha jo bahut donation kiya AIDS ko, haan Warret Buffon" and even asked the jeep driver "Arey yaar 'PSR' kuch naam hota hai kya? Gandha lagtha hain T-shirt par". Btw talking about T-shirts , Yes we had T-shirts with our names and numbers on them. While i chose number 11 for some weird reason, Ganguly-obsessed Rama naturally chose 99 , Pratik shah chose 13 to prove (or disprove )a point and Mittal chose 14 for i think he admired Henry the Fourteenth or something. Atleast that is what our opening bowler Rahul told me.

So lets leave the numbers behind and get back to cricket. The day before our first match. We all were in the SAC discussing our startegies and what we would need the next day during the match . The strategists Preveen and Tushar though were conspicuous by their absence. I told Anshuman and Thakur that only one of them would be playing in the eleven and that would be the first tough decision i take. We decided we needed 2 dozens Bananas, 4 packets Frito lays (though i bullied for kurkure) and orange flavoured Glucon-D along with the basic First Aid we already had.


DAY 1:

Match day. 7:00 in the morning in the terrible cold we set off to Ahmedabad on our Jeep. Imagine 15 of us with those jumbo sized kits on our laps , some of us slipping off the seats and to top it up we had " Ek baar AuWWWW JaWWW" playing in the background. Not a good start i thought. Doesn't matter, "we dont need much luck to beat 'Junagadh Agricultural University' ",I reminded myself. We had pan -India talent afterall with 6 of the 11 players from Hyderabad. We got onto the pitch , shook hands with our opposition and it was time for the toss. I always thought the two sides of the coin were called 'Heads' and Tails. But the umpire called them something like 'king' and 'king's sister'. So i allowed the opposite captain to call and the next moment i knew i won the toss . I chose to field first . Meanwhile Anshuman and Shashank got the bad news.They were not in the eleven .

On the field as expected Rahul ripped the opposition apart while Partik Shrivastav kept things tight at the other end to reduce the opposition to 13/5 in six overs. Dream start it was.The fielding was also looking good with our most vocal fielder Arun and Thakur showing great commitment. Tushar as always contributed with his useful tips from the slips. Then came this batsman all geared up. Left handed, helmet, thigh guard, elbow guard and other mandatory-guards in place. He played sensibly , got stuck at one end and diluted the bowling.Things were getting easy for him. The elbow guard came off, he gave his thigh guard to the umpire and things got a little tricky when he took even his abdomen guard off and handed it over to the umpire. The umpire hesitantly took it. But luckily we were able to take wickets at the other end and were able to restrict them for 152 in 37 overs. Not great considering that we had half their team out in the first six overs.

Match resumed after the lunch break. Openers Tushar and Arun start confidently but Tushar got out without many on the board. Some poor running between the wickets had us in trouble at 30/3. The captain didn't help the cause either. Got out without much fight and then Rohit Mittal soon followed when he was looking really good. Match precariously placed at 75/5. Then it came . It had to. Mayank and Rama sailed us home with 8 overs to go. Mayank not out on a more-responsible-than-magnificient 53. some great shots on the off side. He played them all. Mayank had to get it. For a batsman of his quality this was due and he got it when it mattered. Rama's 24 was invaluable. Priceless partnership.

DAU- 152 allout in 37 overs (Rahul 4 wickets)
DAIICT- 153/5 in 32 overs
My Men of the Match : Mayank and Rahul .

Next match: Quarter final against Nirma who got a 'walkover' today.

DAY 2:

Same team except that Naveen replaced Laveen who fell ill and Nimesh came in for Brijesh as the 12th man. We were a confident bunch but not a fully fit one i was afraid. Two matches of 40 overs a side on consequitive days isn't easy.Like all good captains do, i won the toss again [:)] and chose to field again. The bowling wasn't as tight i must say , but we struck at regular intervals. But they were looking good at 75/4 in 14 overs. I was getting mentally prepared to chase 190-200. We were drooping a bit. After drinks we decided to tighten up the fielding and to put pressure on the opposition. And then this happened. Short covers.-PSR . Arun Bowling . Batsman drives hard , hard as in really hard. I dive full length to my left and there it sticks. Ball caught hand. OUT. I know i am being immodest here but it really was a good catch.Then we put pressure on the batsman, every bowling change worked. Mittal, Pratik Shrivastav, Shah, Mayank all of them striking. It took a great catch from wicket keeper Praveen to wrap up the innings at a meagre 135. Arun finished with 4/38 and lead us off the field. Nirma knew they had lost the game even before the second innings started. One guy even wished me good luck for our next match with Saurashtra University.

Cricket is a tricky game . How true. We get off to a disastrous start with the top 4 batsman contributing only 5 runs with the bat among them. Score 17/4 in 9 overs. Me and Mayank at the crease.Mayank back from an unbeaten 50 and i expected him to stay but that didn't happen. Mayank got out soon and we were in deep shit at i think 27/5.Mittal came in. We told each other we would take on the attack . No point defending each ball. Runs came and they came easily. We got runs with the typical PSR-Mittal panache . Our partneships work really well and it did today. We were now on 96/5. Myself on 36 and Rohit on 20 something.Needed 40 of 15 overs and 5 wickets in hand. Right then i got out to lazy shot and Rohit followed immediately. We needed 40 with 3 wickets in hand. Pratik shah scored some useful runs to take us to 111/7. 25 of 10 overs needed. Pratik shah on strike, Bowled. Next over Rama caught at square leg. "Not again" i thought. 25 with one wicket in hand. Pratik shrivastav and Rahul in the crease.Both of them showed great maturity and rotated the strike beautifully with Pratik scoring the odd boundary. We had out hearts in our mouths. With each passing ball the heart beat doubled. Each appeal against us had it tripled. But the batsmen hung on. All we needed now was 7 of 12 balls. One wicket in hand. Pratik hit a boundary over the mid wicket two overs back. Now 7 needed of 10. He wanted to do it again. It looked as if he hit it neatly. I thought it was a boundary, had my hands in the air only to realise the ball landed safely in the fielder's hands at mid on. All over. DA-IICT loses by six runs. All of them were down and dejected. Nirma had pulled off an impossible victory. A lot of discussion followed. "What if i din play that shot??". "What if i had eaten Puri instead of Poha in the morning"."We would have won if we continued listening to Salaam -e-ishq in the jeep instead of switching to Himesh". Weird theories followed . Even the jeep driver had an opinion. "Tum tikk gaye ho tho, i would have come tomorrow too" (He said it in Hindi. Language problem u see.) Their ended our tour and our contract with the jeep guy.

Update Update : Finished 2nd in the IMS quotient quiz for the 2nd time in a row just 2 days after we lost to Nirma in the 2nd round. The number 2 jinx.

I'm lovin these...

Tam Rap or whatever you want to call them. You just can't help but love them. So without much nonsense, here they go.


1. Madai Thiranthu




2. Indian girlz



Yogi B rocks. Enjoy!!!

Happy New Year

Wish you all a very happy and prosperous new year.
Hope all the festivals and national holidays fall on non-weekend days.

Of low angles, city buses and the element silicon

Hi people, so a post after a really long time. Must confess the last couple of months have not been good. Hence the lean blogging period. But now i am back , i mean back to Hyderabad.This place makes me feel so good each time i come back.
I have been doing a lot of things since the last couple of days, all thanks to the senseless programs on Gemini and E tv (EEee tv??), except that chakravakam and that serial on 'how to clean the dining table every afternoon' though.

I have been going around in city-buses after a very long time. You know it's exam time and the buses here are packed with students on their way to their exams . One of them asked me curiously 'what is NaHCO3 called' obviously nervous about the exam he was going to take. I replied that i didn't remember .He then whispered something to his friend. I heard him saying something like " He must have stood 67th in a class of 60 in his school". Smart kids i thought having got used to such insinuations by my six year old niece.

I have also been trying my hand at paper rockets .I used to be the undisputed champion in my school days. I could fold the paper to form the contours of a rocket and throw it as far as 10 meters. I tried the same thing yesterday from our balcony on the fourth floor but this time it travelled only 10 centimeters and landed on our watchman's head who was listening to his favourite song 'crazy kiya re' ; while my niece was clapping and shouting 'your bird hit the watchman. Shame shame puppy shame' and such like.

Our street cricket is back too. I have learnt a new shot called the 'Low angled shot' ;inspired from the now ubiquitous 'sting' operations on our news-channels. They always have low angled shots which have a long term effect on high society people.

I have also learnt how to make a dolphin using 'paper waste paste' and an empty bottle. I have always loved painting , dancing and stuff . Even sreesanth was a national level dancer in his eighth grade i have learnt. All successful people start painters or dancers you see.

Ahh forget to tell you about my horrible train journey back home. It has inspired me to start writing a really long account on '10 reasons why not to travel in sleeper class with a confirmed ticket'. i have decided to do that later but for now i am on silicon implants; i mean researching on silicon stuff and how Baywatch had us glued to the television screens for those many years. First time i looked at them i thought they were some new age tomatoes of the 2050's. Have a look at it yourself here.The more exotic version here.

Apart from the implants and the rockets and the shots i have been reading a couple of books. A Wodehouse and a Telugu book. I make it a point to read a Telugu book while at home and right now i am consuming ' Tappu cheddam Randi ' by Yandamoori Veerendranath. Nice book i must say ,just in case anyone is interested .

So that's the news from my side, and make sure you drop in your comments. It's been a long break and comments now can be very encouraging. [:)]

"A bunch of printed papers"

Hi people!! Didn't think i would blog today , one day after i took my CAT exam. Atleast not with such a news in hand. Yes, i screwed it bigtime. "Not one more time" i say to myself. The whole world changes in matter of minutes. It's the time when no words of encouragement will calm you down the only thing that runs through your mind is that you failed when it mattered. Your "super" ranks in the Mocks don't count anymore. You are faced with the harsh reality that you have wait for one more year.No less.I desperately want to take pride in the fact that i put in a sincere effort but somehow there's this overwhelming feeling that i failed .
"A bunch of printed papers does not change who you are" (in bobli's words) but that bunch of papers can make you feel miserable, really miserable. This is the saddest i have felt in years. I want to record this feeling of sadness and that is why i am blogging today. May sound insane but still.

Lines which sound like a joke to me right now:

"This is not the end of the road." -But this is not where i wanted to take that U-turn either.
"Hope is a good thing and good things never die"- Agree.
"There's always next time"- But one year is a bloody long time to take vengeance.

The Line i love now:
(Quantisation of murphy's Law)
"Everthing goes wrong, and goes wrong all at once." [:)]

"Feeling good?, don't worry, you'll get over it."-Priceless

Experienced what "mind-numbing " was and how a sleepless night felt like. All in one day. Eventful day. Wasn't it. Didn't give parents a call. But i'm not alone. Friends have been a great support. Thank you guys.Most of them did well and i am very happy for them. Hope they reach the places they aspired to .Wishing them all the very best..
----------
Update Update : A week has passed and i remind myself:

A test- is only a yardstick- a measurement of how successfully you have learned. You do not pass or faila atest(words like pass and fail represent extremes; they sound as if you are placing your life on the line , as if you are gambling everything ona single throw of a dice).A test, realistically is a metering device, much like one of
the dials on the dashboard of your car.Such dials tell you whether you need to refill your tank ,how many miles you have driven since the lst lube job, etc.In short,the indicators provide information for more efficient driving- they do not access youa s a person.

So, chuck that upper half of the post. [:P]. Will be back with better posts. I promise.

:(

Not the best of weeks. Donno why, but am feeling dumb and inadequate. Trying every
possible way to get out of this. Anyways one of those days you sit on the net just to keep yourself occupied with absolutely no agenda. You go where the links take you. Four hours of continous browsing with some lovely music playing in the background. Dor songs are playing in a loop and am loving it. Especially the two songs "Yeh Honsla" and "Iman ka asar". Talking about feeling dumb ; found this piece on the net. Sorta feeling better now after reading it. It said:

Math can be hard, even for the biggest brains around. Mathematicians may spend hours
just trying to figure out a line of equations. All the while, they feel dumb and stupid. Then one day, these young mathematicians become established, become professors, acquire secretaries and offices. They don’t want to feel stupid anymore. And they stop doing great work.

Taking solace of the fact that feeling dumb is not that bad actually. I started wanting to write something funny today to change my mood. But somehow my mood is getting the better of me. Just one of those days, i know. Not feeling funny at all. So, lemme leave before you think i have gone insane.

P.S: Don't mind the senseless post. i don't even feel like editing it. Bad Bad day.

Hyderabadi Comedy!!

Wrote this for desicritics.org. Check it out and drop in your comments.

Fotowallahs

If you thought this is one of those "you pee, i pee , we all will pee together at full flow " pic, then you are WRONG. Look closely.



The guys from left in order are Chinna, Munna and Panduranga. Ignore the cows for the moment. Like always one of them panduranga wanted this "let as all pee" pic. Chinna and Munna reluctantly agreed. Both of them did not show anything personal to cows till then. Panduranga wanted the pic to look original and so he asked them to... you know what.
So, while Chinna nd Munna diligently stood holding theirs', Panduranga was caught searching for his. LOL. Look at the pic below. (Click on it for a better view.)


LMAO. By the way this was during our Abu tour. August 2006.

Why -o-Why??

It was seven in the morning and i had nothing to do basically . So, thought i should clean my inbox(es). It's been long since i have cleaned it up. It was flooded with spam from IMS , DTDC ,KC , DAIICT webmail, Seshadri , Chaturvedi and some important mails from Alena, Pedrova and Patricia; all from Brazil. In the process came across some interesting mails, about which i had thought of blogging sometime back but somehow managed to completely forget them . I am not very sure whether it is ok to post someone's sincere mail enquiring about something very serious. But i think it's ok as long as i don't reveal their identities. I have received three mails from three different people in the last coupla weeks . I am posting two of them here.

The first one :

Hi Chaitanya,

I was looking into your coverage on Chikun Gunya and also looked into the details. I am interested not in CG but HT. Can you please check with your friend and let me know the name and address of the doctor who did the operation and at the same time

1. Was it succesful
2. How much it costed
3. How much time it took
4. Is this advisable

Please help me with details.

Thank you - ****

The Second One:

Hey PSR

Did you ever get a hair transplant? Was it successful? Who was the Doctor? Any info would help buddy…I am looking at getting one done and don't know of any good Docs at a decent price in Mumbai.

Take care

**************.

Now stop laughing. This whole confusion emerged because of one of my posts on chicken guniya where i claimed to be a reporter for LPTV and that i was doing research on Hair Transplantation. I didn't know people would take me seriously but some of them have. Atleast the three of them who have written in to me. (I am happy there are three people on this planet who take me seriously .) Now let me clarify. I never had an Hair Transplant and don't intend to have one. All i know about it is that it costs about Rs 25 per follicle. Assume you need to transplant 1000 follicles. An exorbitant amount by any standards.

All the 762 follicles you see on my head are the original ones and have never been messed around . I believe the bald guys will be the hot ones by 2010. Guys will be tonsuring their heads to look sexy, but we will look naturally sexy [:P]. So all you would-be-bald people , stop worrying. We are the nation's next movie stars. Let the hair fall and it will lead us to our glory road.

Conclusion: Hair transplant is an absolute no-no. Dont waste your money on it. Instead pay me for my for my invaluable advice. And most importantly don't write to me on 'HT' again . I know nothing more and i can't help you any further.

No classes, no fun. Life very sedate here. Getting bored to death. So, no inspiration and hence no new posts.

Why do good girls fall for ...??

Bullshit!Thud!!PhatakKK!!! Wait a moment.. let me throw these glass pieces out. The second one i broke in the last half an hour......All these days like a total idiot I assumed
gals fall for affable, suave, moderate guys and what happened today: I have come to know that one more gal in my best gals list is now committed to that guy in my biggest jerk list. Ya, the same guy we used to call "Mysore Banda " in school. I don't have a problem with his excessive flab or his ugly crocadile hair cut. I hate him for what he is : a jerk in every sense of the word. One more reason to hate him. I lose my 100 bucks.Oh yes!! i did bet on his getting kicked.Royally!. Afterall i thought the gal was one of the brainiest i met .Now i have my doubts. Did any research in recent times conclude -" As good looking , apparently-wise gals grow older, their brains shrink." If there is one like that, it must be right.

Back to this guy.Lets call him "Banda" hereafter. It is because of these guys like Banda that guys like me : single, sincere and desperate don't stand a chance.We can't fake that "hey baby" accent.We can't send ugly SMS's like "This sms can only be read by someone SEXY" followed by this one "he he..nice one no??" and then the gal replies "Ya wonderful!! Brilliant . How Creative . I loved it". Aaha..

I see so many such guys around . In the cinema halls, parties and in the malls. I keep an eye on them from a distance and i just keep hoping this happens --

VVRZOOOM BANGGGG...a fighter plane comes crashing down on him before he introduces himself to the gal. Then i go running , jump into the flames and i finally save the gal. The gal is in my arms ..I look at her , she looks at me. The fire fighters are spraying water over us. Both of us are all drenched up and it's time for that rain song- "patti rap".

Err ..was patti rap a rain song?? Who cares. Can i make it anymore obvious. You know both of us would live happily ever after . 'Everafter' can mean 5 minutes right??
I open my eyes only to realise ;the gal and that jerk are on their first date already.Ohh... not again. It felt as if the plane had deviated its path and shot into my butt. ouch!!

I honestly feel guys like these must be sold off to countries like Iran. Afterall the oil prices are on a rise and we need to do something about it. Come on Mr. Minister !! sell them off . "Jerks for Oil" it must read. Hey Gals; you need guys like us, who won't see another gal while on a date with you unless; the other gal is very fair, wearing a very short dress and has a beautiful smile. In short we wont look at another gal unless she looks better or unless we feel we have been with you for as long as two semesters. We promise we will be your friend, guide ,mentor,computer and hunter. Hey! how bout this line. " Madam. i wanna be your Bryan Adam." Nice one na??. I can hear someone saying this one was worse than the SMS. No!! It was not . It was so original and spontaneous. Some guys here have it in them. Lines come naturally to them.:P

Okk!! let me cut this off here. Wouldn't it be nice if we had more spirit here. I am sorry if i offended anyone. Especially those jerks. I was really disturbed today and i even had to break my resolution not to write a blog for the next few weeks, to vent my frustation. And all you Bandas, i am even more sorry for having thought of hurting you. I felt like blasting your head off with my cricket bat. It should have been a hammer and i should have done it.Someone!! Please kill them with kindness. :P.

Update: Had to change the post's title because our college's super-blocker-firewall was denying access to the word "Jerks". I suggest we take inspiration from these firewalls. :P

1984--2004

I was doing a little bit of trivia research and wanted to see the Apple '1984' Macintosh launch ad. I came across this video on youtube. Though not the original one but this one supposedly was digitally altered by Apple and was released in 2004 to commemorate 20 years of Macintosh.You will find a small but significant change in the ad. Watch it and see if you can catch the difference. For all who haven't seen the ad before,this ad was originally made in 1984. The change is actually very conspicuous. You will enjoy the difference. So, go ahead and watch it.

Reporting from Hyderabad. Deepu. For LPTV.

Hi, i am Deepu from Loose Pants Television Network famously known as LPTV. The last one month has been very busy for us at LPTV, for we have been doing extensive research on an outbreak of a deadly viral fever called 'Chickun (or chicken??) Guniya'. (Please go through the link to believe it).Immediately after we came to know of this we sent our special correspondent PSR Chaitanya and a freelancer Abhay krishna to Hyderabad where this fever has seen a rise in the past three weeks.

PSR who was making a story on 'We don't have to cry anymore- There's hair transplantation' ,a documentary for people like him who believe in -'The more hair you loose ,the more head you get' has left his dear project to work on this very serious issue- 'The outbreak of Chi kun Guniya- What and Why?'. Abhay, a freelancer, who has been busy doing a report on a multi national company called “ORGy”, rushed from ‘Hi-Tech city’ (where he was doin his report) to capture the essence of this “Chicken-mania”. Oh, by the way, “ORGy” is trying to address the problem of weight-gain and “excessive flab” which is escalating in the “software professionals” community. The heads of the company in an interview have said that they are shortly going to release a product called “Sexy-Flex”, a device which any software professional can use to lose the excess flab and weight while he’s watching porn on his PC.

Now lets get down to our subject 'The outbreak of Chi kun Guniya- What and Why?'.

Chicken guniya: Legend has it that the first incidence of this fever was found in 1755AD in a small village near Nasik ,when a sex-starved guy was affected by this kind of fever.The patient suffered from severe joint pains and had high temperature of about ...actually we couldn't find out the exact temperature. But yes, he did suffer from high fever for about a week. (atleast PSR says so). People in the village assumed that it happened because the guy indulged in acts of physical intimacy (or bluntly ,sex) with a chicken. People called it 'Chicken Guna' , guna here meaning 'sin' , cos they thought it was wrong (They weren't metrosexuals , were they???:P). South indians in the village,ya those two gultis and the mallu girl got the name wrong and started calling it 'chikun guniya'. Slowly 'Chiken guna' became 'Chickun guniya'

So nearly two and a half centuries later we are again getting to hear about 'Chikun guniya'. While PSR was doing his research at his place in Hyderabad , Abhay was on the streets ,talking to the general people in Hyderabad about the awareness of the disease and so forth. After interviewing about 143 people this is what we had:

The name 'Chicken Guniya' was no more used by the Hyderabadi people, especially the ones from the old city area .Instead ,people near Quthbullapur called it 'Chicken Dhuniya' because rumours spread that customers of 'Chicken Dhuniya' - the biggest chicken centre in that area were the ones affected by this fever. The poor guy Sayeed bhai had to shut his shop down.

Here is one of the conversations we overheard:

Friend:Tera chicken dhuniya kaisa hey bey.
Guniya patient:Kya bataoon yaar. Maa ki kirikiri, bahut dard dera baap.aage, peeche, poora baap.

Supposedly this rumour was spread by a house wife in the same area named supraja* for reasons not known to Sayeed bhai. Sayeed Bhai wanted his revenge; so did extensive research to find out the motive behind the rumour. He eventually found out the real reason and we don't exactly know what he did ,but two days later people in and arounf Quthbullapur and Saidabad started calling it 'Chicken Dhaniya'. So, what did he do????

Abhay dug deep into the matter and figured out that supraja, a self proclaimed international chef was very famous for her 'Dhaniya Chicken' receipe and so set up a small chicken shop beside her house. So who ever bought chicken from her shop and paid 10 bugs extra would get a free receipe of 'Dhaniya chicken'. Now you get the connect, right????

Dhuniya to Dhaniya. So lets go all over the dialogue again.

Friend:Tera chicken dhaniya kaisa hey bey.
Guniya patient: Kya bataoon yaar. Mast hota bolke laya re. 10 rupaiye jyadha li baap."ek kilo do" bole tho, "accha hoga bolke 2 kilo lelo. phir nahi milega" bolke dhi baap. Ab dekh kya hua. Uski tho.....

Abhay’s dad has an attender who too thinks that it’s “Chicken Dhaniya”. Here are excerpts from a conversation between him and Abhay’s dad.

Dad: Arey Jowahar, kal nahin aaye kya jee ! dumma kaiku mare??
Jowahar : kya bolon saab, biwi subah uthke boli mere ko “chicken-dhaniya” hai, bachon ko school leke jao aur khana banao. Khana bana bana ke laghta hai mere ko bhi “Chicken dhaniya” ho gaya, pura joint-joint dard kar ra !!!!


With pandemonium reigning supreme in Quthbullapur and Saidabad, Abhay spoke to people from the ‘old city’, the most literate part of Hyderabad (pun intended), who are not ready to accept that a chicken can do any “guna” (sin). They strongly believe that the chicken was made by the Almighty to serve as food to mankind, not to commit sins like adultery (that too with members of another species).They won't accept any name starting with chicken and ending with anything else other than biryani.They will call it 'Chicken Biryani' no matter what. PSR came across a guy who said: "Dhuniya kuch bhi bolne dho, hum tho chicken Biryani hi bolenge.Duniya main chicken ka ek hi ho sakta hain.Chicken Biryani"

Youngsters from the more "hippy" parts of the city (read Yo Yo guys) have been calling it “Chick hi duniya”. Apparently, these guys got sick as soon as they got a wink from a hot chick and started screaming “This chick is my world”. Looking at the actual causes of the disease, they may be totally off target, but this excuse has worked miracles in front of their parents who have readily agreed to give ‘em all the money they want to pursue their “chick” so as to get cured. Silly, isn’t it !

Friend:Hey dood! how'z your chick hi somethin??
Guniya patient: Yo yo man!! It hurts in the arse maaan.Yo!

Calling it “Chicken Dhun-iya”, there have also been reports of some tech savvy people contracting this disease by receiving phone calls on GSM mobile phones; they seem to have heard a “cock-a-doodle-doo” tune from the other side, but these reports are yet to be confirmed. All Reliance users have been cautioned to not download any ringtones with the words “Chick” or “Dhun” in them , for the fear of getting this dreaded disease.

While their research almost came to an end, PSR found a good deal when a doctor in Hyderabad offered him an Hair Transplant for Rs 6 a follicle instead of the usual RS 26 per follicle . So, he left the research midway for his surgery.Meanwhile Abhay is back to Hi-tech city unraveling the mysteries of "Sexy -Flex.".Both of them had an important warning for all the readers here. People who fail to comment in their blogs from now on will contract Chickun Biryani err Dhuniya err Dhaniya err ya, Guniya.So, people go flood in the comments while i Deepu will take your leave.


(*)-Names changed




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Co-authored (mostly) by PSR and (a little) by Abhay. Visit Abhay's blog.
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!!!

I found this post on the net.Beautiful. Thought i should share it with you.

Godavari- 4.9/5 , Pokiri- 4.5/5

So then, two new posts on the same day and i am back to this crowded internet cafe to post my second post after watching two good movies :Godavari and Pokiri. People might be surprised to see Godavari rated higher than Pokiri. Let me explain.

Godavari -
What a movie it was ! Excellent !! Shekhar kammula creates magic again. I liked his previous movie Anand but this one beats it, if u ask me. Lovely movie !!!. The one word to describe this movie would be "pleasant". I am not a film critic to dissect and analyse the movie scene by scene but lemme describe the experience. I dont get tickets for free, so have to stand in long queues to get one. I didn't have to do that for Godavari because there were not many takers for the 10:30 PM show. So, walked in peacefully with the ticket (went to the movie alone). Sat back watching all the good looking gals with their boy-friends slowly walking down the aisles.

So Pre movie experience- full marks.

The movie began without the mandatory AIDS campaign advertisement. You can't ask for a better start. Can you? Then you have the movie. Let me tell you; from the first scene to the last scene of the first half the movie was beautiful. Dialogues were excellent , so was the music, and so were the locations.The first half was UBER-COOL.

Score till now: 5/5.


Second Half : Same peaceful pace, the dog sequence was superb, the heroine was beginning to look sexy, the hero insane but nevertheless i was loving the movie .Then, the hero Sumanth danced. So, -0.05 for that and then the unneccesary fight sequence in between attracts another -0.05 . Rest, was a dream.

Final score line: 4.9/5.

I intentionally did not give out the storyline ,because i want you to watch the movie. I don't actually know whether it was inspired from Titanic or another old telugu movie 'Andala ramudu' ,but let me tell you, the movie was excellent. Afterall, who cares if you liked the movie so much. In the end, it was one of those movies you can walk in alone ,watch it and walk out feeling - " Am at peace with my life ".

Final word: An absolute-must-watch.

-----

Pokiri - Let me take an alternative approach to this movie.

Had to toil for the tickets.

Pre movie experience: 4.8/5

The film had the following things that worked to its advantage:

1.Puri jagannath has great style.
2.Vulgar dialogues for the masses.
3.Too much violence also for the masses.
4.Great songs.



The primary reason for the stupendous success of pokiri as i see it : Gals are flocking to the theatres to see Mahesh Babu and the guys, Ileana. Pokiri proved again that the next superstar in Tollywood is Mahesh babu. He has great looks, can act superbly well. No second thoughts on that. He can make a mediocre movie look great. So all your money's worth only his action, anything else is a bonus.

For all its violence and routine whatever : 4.5/5

To sum it up:
Mahesh babu will be buying a lot more of those Mercedes Benz's after this movie ,probably worth 50 lakhs each ,but Ileana's Bends-- PRICELESS. [:p]

Of Shopping, Hyderabadi Biryani and "The Angrez"

Aaha, Awesome. Am back in Hyderabad after a long five and a half month semester and the last few days have been great.This is the first time that none of my friends are in Hyderabad during my short stay here. My elder sister came down to see me along with her two lil daughters Sneha and Srija. The first few days with them was fun except that i had to watch Pogo and Cartoon network all day with Sneha while the cute one and a half year old Srija pulled my spectacles and made weird shapes out of it. She made what she thought was a spoon, then a long snake and then two shorter snakes. So,my poor spectacles is now no more.

Third day was even more eventful. I accompanied my sister for her shopping. I didn't know what she was going to shop, but agreed to accompany her nevertheless. First we went to this shop named Meetal matching centre. Gals staying in and around chikkadpally should know it, perhaps. What a place to visit i thought . There were all these gals and women shopping for their matching blouses , pretty coats [:P] etc etc and here i was, the lone man standing in the crowd confused. It doesn't stop there. I have to give my opinon on the green blouse piece with golden peacocks on it. I told my sis that it was good and it would go well with her saree. She doesn't like it because the peacock's beak, it seems is too long for her liking. Beak?? Too long??. ..Ayyyyaaadddaaa... . Now you know why shopping with a gal is not easy. You will have seven shades of green and yellow to choose from.Twenty two types of birds to choose.Four types of the bird's feathers. Phew!! choosing the right option in CAT is easier. Next was the jewellery store , then the school uniforms for Sneha and then finally the Vegetable Mandi. Quite a shopping it was.

How can you leave Hyderabad without having it's chicken biryani. Bawarchi- not one more time i thought and the next day i was on a lookout for a Hyderabadi restaurant i have not visited. Ironically,i have not been to 'Cafe Bahar' a very famous restaurant or cafe (whatever you may choose to call it) very close to my place in Himayatnagar.So went to Cafe Bahar had nice dinner with chicken,pan and all. The Miyas there were great. Miyas i mean, the waiters. They wont respond to anything like "excuse me" and "waiter".Only "Miya" will work. Lovely you see.You get the feel of Hyderabad when you say that-Proudly Hyderabadi.

Next on my agenda was to buy myself a new pair of shoes. The previous ones were stolen u see.Thought i should replace an Adidas with an Adidas.Was off to the Banjara hills Adidas show room and was done with the shopping within fifteen minutes. It would have taken a fortnight had i my sister accompanied me. She would have complained about the logo perhaps -"The three slant lines don't look good. why aren't they straight??" .Thankgod i went alone and now i have my new pair of shoes.

Now the movies- For people who din't know ,"The Angrez" is a pakka Hyderabadi movie. The last time i was here, i watched this movie and i absolutely loved it. Funky Comedy, sexy lingo. All in all an awesome movie. I am trying to find a VCD of this movie in Hyderabad for the past one week and have not yet succeded. My friends want me to get Bawarchi biryani for them on my flight back to Ahmedabad on 22nd. I know for sure it would be more fun having bawarchi with "The Angrez" playing on screen in the hostel. So people in Hyderabad; if u know where i could get the VCD, please let me know.

I should be going now because i have booked tickets to watch movies back to back- 'Godavari' and 'Pokiri' . So, probably will back with their four-line-reviews. Ciao.

P.S:Dont mind the typos , the keyboard here in this net-centre is killing me.

To be or not to be ...

After two and a half weeks of cramming, running and dancing around in formals, finally made it to Infosys and Mahindra British Telecom (now Tech Mahindra). Both these jobs will pay me enough to buy me a McChicken Maharaja everyday, along with a coke every saturday. So, no regrets on that front. Also,I have deleted my orkut account yesterday. So can't do my regular profile browsing, thanking and socialising stuff. So here it goes; thankyou all who wished me success.

The last two weeks were so very stressful with all the companies flooding the campus and we having to attend interview after interview to get placed in our so called dream company. Things were getting too difficult to handle. The heat, the huge round sweat mark on my brand new shirt, trying to look comfortable when you are actually not, lying to every interviewer that his company was my dream company, asking him questions that actually did not make any sense. All this did not leave a good taste behind.

A little bit of introspection and the Sidin-interview made me realise i was a bit too caught up in the competiton. For those who didn't know, Sidin Vadukut is a freelancer and an IIM-A alumnus who was here at DA-IICT a couple of months back to conduct a quiz . The guy is doing it all from writing books, to blogging to an online magazine. I first saw him at a quiz in Ahmedabad and he has been an inspiration ever since. Coming back to the placements, a job after graduation is not what i am looking at. Rather, I want to do an official quiz one day, lead a protest march demanding the death sentence of Narendra Modi, do stand-up comedy at stage shows, date a couple fo genuinely good looking girls, watch unhealthy amounts of television before i finally start a very small company of my own.

Writing programs is not something i want to do. I want to live life on my own terms. Not that i hate working as a subordinate or like i hate co-operating . A little bit of fame and a comfortable life is what i want. It may sound hopelessly romantic or too distantly utopic while you are reading this but still...

Leaving the placements behind, things have got a lot better in the last few days. Couple of hours of trivia collection , an hour of Pj's on my hostel mates , an extremely boring book on procrastination, upma, lemon rice and lemonade are keeping me busy all day.

Tagged...

May 10th i said.May 13 th it is.I wrote a couple of exams the day before, pretty long ones .So thought i will continue writing .So, here i am writing for the first time after a long time and for the first time when it didn't actually come naturally to me.
Abhay has got his own Tag-dom now. Reliable sources say,he has tagged 27 of us .Way to go, Abhay.So, i am supposed to put down my most embarrissing moments.Umm let's see...

"THE MOMENTS" in chronological order:

1.Long back

When i was in the 6th standard , one girl from my class brought her slam book to school and asked me to fill it up.It had this question- "Most embarrassing moment?". I didn't know what embarrassing really meant .I thought it was on the lines of the happiest moment or something and so i wrote "When i first met you".
She never talked to me again.

2.Recently

Dropped into a huge huge mall , which was like 4 miles long , 2 miles wide and 8 floors tall. Walked a couple of miles , found a cute sales girl and thought i will do some talking. So pulled out the nearest pink denim trouser and asked her "Excuse me. How much does it cost?? It really looks great .Must be perfect for me". She gave a deprecating smile and said "Yes sir , great trouser. Will look perfect on any good looking gal. This is the girl's section. For men's trousers, go to the sixth floor , turn right, walk half a kilometer and then ask someone else". Embarrassed i was and said "How much does it cost to travel to the men's section??"

3.Very recently :-
For those who didn't know ,Sneha is my cute,sweet five year old niece.

Scene1:

Sneha: Where did you go?

Me: Cutting.

Sneha :What did he cut?

Me:obviously hair..

Sneha: So say hair-cut. My teacher told me the other day.

THUDDD!!!!!(It was like i was thrown down from the fifth floor)

Me:I know that.Wanted to know whether you knew it.

Sneha:I think you should bathe now.

ME:ohhh! nice, i will do that.

Must thank her for correcting me, i later corrected atleast a dozen others.


4.Very Very recently:

I saw a girl playing cricket with her gang of boys. She was playing real good and used an english willow bat. Nice bat it was. The girl was a real tomboy. She hollered at the guys like "Abey [expletive] .Behen ke [expletive] .Kadhe hoja .Teri [expletive] [expletive] ko ek kardhunga".
I went upto her and said: "Teri bat accha hai".All the guys around started laughing??.I didn't know why??
It got her started again.She started screaming at me "Abey [expletive] ,hindi bolna aatha hai to bol, nahi tho [expletive] [expletive] [expletive] ".

I had to run for cover. Finally managed to hide behind a Maruti omni.

Did i say anything wrong??

Phew!! So much for my embarrassing moments. Will be back with Jilla Jigiri.

People, am caught up with vivas , assignments and some indispensable academic commitments :P .So will not be able to post till May 10th.
Bye till then.

Just for the record

This is the first time i am writing a post before the last one actually sinks in. The post is about one such thing very close to my heart, cricket. If there is one thing that i enjoy and am really proud of ; it is my cricket.
Of late i may be boasting of cheering Juventus or Villareal or ManU for that matter this season , just because it sounds glamarous or because it makes me one in those elusive groups of the college .But, let me confess, cricket still to me, is the best game ever played. I like cheering players in trousers rather than in shorts. It's the other way round for women, i like female athletes in 1) Tinies 2) Micro-minnies 3) Nothing at all.

Writing a eulogy for the game of cricket is difficult. So, i have decided not to do that. Instead we will discuss the weird records in cricket. This idea struck me when my friend told me ,India broke the record for the highest number of consequitive wins, batting second.You have a record for anything you do on and off the field, i thought.

-Wankhede holds the record for being the first ground on which Tendulkar sneezed.

-Saeed anwar was the first player to be mistaken for a terrorist and was thrown out of the field by his own team mates.

-Ganguly is the first player to hit the ball to slips, when the ball was 3 feet further away on the legside. No wonder he is the God on the Off side.

-Mpumelelo Mbangwa as the most abusive name in cricket. I pronounce it as mooh-may-lelo-Bangwa. Other people prefer Pommie Mbangwa.For people who didn't hear his name, he is an experienced zimbabwean cricketer who played 1 oneday international and 2 days of test cricket before he retired.

-Shoaib Akthar as the only player who pissed on the field, in the worldcup match against India.This caught him napping while the crowd was clapping.

-Paul Adams of South-Africa as the first polio patient to play international cricket.Many people still consider Murlitharan to be the first, but ICC has clarified it is Paul Adams.

-South Africa as the team which played most number of rain affected matches.

-Mohammed Kaif for taking more number of catches than his aggregate runs ,including domestic cricket.Great going kaif, you deserve a place atleast for this.

-Kasprowich as the 76th player, whose career was almost brought to an end by Sachin Tendulkar.

-Shivnarine Chanderpaul for digging the biggest hole on the pitch. They have stronger bails when chanderpaul is playing. He broke a total of 19 bails while digging holes before he bats.

These are too technical if you ask me. You don't have to know all these details to enjoy the game.Talking of technicalities,when i was in school we used to have this guy named Bujanna with whom we played cricket in our apartments.We used to play in the parking lot where we could barely manage a full length pitch and this guy used to ask me to field at 17 degrees to the right of deep midwicket, which generally meant under or over a yellow Fiat.He asked us to hit over the fineleg which actually didn't exist in the garage we played.I played it back to him and said "The ball is nipping back into me at the rate of 14 degrees/sec , so i played it back 45 degrees to the right of midoff" which loosely translates to "I had to play it straight."

To call for a run , he used to shout "C'mon run to the other side of the pitch before the fielder throwns in ..blah blah blah" before he ran himself out because he couldn't ground that o.6th inch of his bat in time .That is what he told me. Once he asked me to learn the lemon-cut ,supposedly a cricketing shot and you must have guessed what i did the next day.He asked us to play the backward defensive shot with the bat at an angle of 45 degrees to the superior venacava.

Oh my god, what a techie he was. I think he is now teaching geometry in a reputed institute near that cricket coaching centre in Narayanguda.

This is all for the records and the technicalities of cricket. Next post on "Dynamics of a disorder in which strongly felt ethical and altruistic impulses are perpetually warring with extreme sexual longing often of perverse nature." which in common man's language is LOVE.